ive devised a new spell that turns the haters into dickriders - its called time
not to be autistic but i wish i could purr because conveying the fact that i feel positive takes so much energy. i could just make Chest Sound
speedrun
im a lil high and i have cilantro soap questions
- if cilantro tastes like soap to some people why is it such an uncommon soap scent? I feel like things that taste like soap should be soap
- before soap existed what did the soap gene cavemen say cilantrussy. hang on i have to stop this mid sentence because my phone autocorrected cilantro to cilantrussy which means i have previously typed that word out enough for my phone to think it’s a word and more of a word than cilantro. i have some inward reflection to do.
This shit was better than whatever the fuck we have going on today ngl
I love learning about other culture’s Houseguest Protocols but I hate hate hate when they don’t match up cause like
I (PNW Canadian, raised with etiquette from my old British great-grandparents) sleeping over: Can I help with dinner. Can I do the dishes. PLEASE let me do something useful. Im sorry I’m here. I can sleep on the floor it’s fine. You don’t need to cook for me I can go outside and drink pond water. Do you hate me
My friend (Indian, raised by entire extended family in Dubai) hosting me: Why won’t you let me feed you. Do you need more coffee. Am I doing something wrong. Do you have enough blankets? I will buy you warmer clothes. Here, you can sleep in my room, I’ll take the couch. Why are you crying? Oh God am I a bad host
mr beast just cured me from being dead but he hates how i turned out so they didn’t even upload the video about it
god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything
“i won’t be coming back here” is the funniest possible thing you can say to a customer service worker. you’re at your place of work and someone comes in, acts like a jerk, ruins your day, and then, paradoxically, finishes up by reassuring you that this interaction is now over and you’ll never have to see or hear from them again
This is so fucking funny
Certified Protestant Moment
She is a danger on the road
HOLY SHIT WHAT???
Since I can’t afford to sue DC, to force them to live up to the letter and the spirit of our long-time agreements; since even winning such a suit would take ridiculous amounts of money out of my pocket and years out of my life (I’m 67 years old, and don’t have the years to spare), I’ve decided to take a different approach, and fight them in a different arena, inspired by the principles of asymmetric warfare. The one thing in our contract the DC lawyers can’t contest, or reinterpret to their own benefit, is that I am the sole owner of the intellectual property. I can sell it or give it away to whomever I want.
I chose to give it away to everyone. If I couldn’t prevent Fables from falling into bad hands, at least this is a way I can arrange that it also falls into many good hands. Since I truly believe there are still more good people in the world than bad ones, I count it as a form of victory.